Gambling and FAMILY

The problem gambler is not the only one who suffers. Emotional distress and financial hardship are common when family members deal with a loved one’s gambling problem. It is not your fault when a family member gambles excessively and you can not make him or her stop. But it is your responsibility to yourself, and especially to your children to seek help to deal with the negative consequences of the gambling problem on your family.

Problem gamblers often try to blame family members for the gambling, resulting in feelings of guilt and shame. Family members begin to doubt themselves and their judgment. Inherent in pathological gambling is dishonesty, manipulation and isolation from loved ones. Family members are left confused and angry. Over time, you will begin to notice signs that the gambling has become a problem. His/her behavior may include:

	Neglect of responsibilities at home or work
	Belief that gambling will solve money problems
	Gambles away money needed for daily necessities
	Accumulates large gambling debts
	Promises to cut back or quit gambling, but efforts are minimal

In life with a problem gambler, you have probably experienced one or more of the following:

	You are unable to pay monthly bills due to gambling debts
	You begin to hide money, checkbooks , and credit cards from the gambler
	Creditors frequently call your home
	Mail is often missing because the gambler gets there first and removes the unpaid bills
	Losses followed by lies begin to increase and trust is broken
	You withdraw from family and friends, feeling embarrassment and/or shame
	You feel depressed , lonely, helpless, and/or hopeless about the gambling
	You generally neglect your heath, having difficulty eating and/or sleeping
	You fear discussing the topic of gambling with the gambler, as you fear the gambler’s reaction
	Arguments about money, often resulting in verbal and/or physical attacks, become more common

Children can also be directly and adversely affected by a gambling problem in the family. Signs that children are developing problems may be:

	Decline in school performance
	Deterioration of social relationships
	Acting out feelings of anger
	Abuse of alcohol, drugs or gambling
	Signs of insecurity
	Trouble sleeping
	More frequent stomachaches and/or headaches
	Lower self-esteem

It is just as important for family members to receive the help they need as it is for the gambler. There is a growing need for mental health and social service professionals to be aware of both the potential for gambling problems to exist among their clients and the effects of problem gambling on families of problem gamblers. Increasing debt, the inability to meet day to day expenses, emotional stress and physical and emotional abuse can lead the families of problem gamblers to critical stages of desperation.

Get the help you need, whether or not the gambler is ready to go for help. Call the Connecticut Council’s Helpline and take the first step: